In a story that will no doubt warm the cockles of every reader's heart, Roman Polanski, the film director and weirdo, has gone down on one knee to Samantha Geimer - his childhood rape victim - just as she went down on one knee to him in 1977.
The French Pole is to marry the woman he raped when she was a 13-year-old girl 32 years ago.
Polanski was arrested by authorities in Zurich when he went there last week to accept an award, and has been helping Swiss police with their enquiries ever since.
Geimer was the pretty underage girl who Polanski plied with champagne and Quaaludes during a modelling shoot in 1977, later shoving his cock inside her. He was subsequently indicted on six felony counts, including rape by use of drugs, child molesting and sodomy. Let's just say that again, child molesting and sodomy.
Miss Geimer initially said that Polanski forced himself on her, but she later forgave him, and, indeed, thanked him for making her famous. Like many loony Americans, she has now fallen in love with her raper, and the two will tie the knot once Polanski has managed to extricate himself from the horrible mess he has found himself in.
