Washington DC: President Obama announced today that a home for the remaining 225 detainees held at Guantanamo Bay Cuba has been found. The Guantanamo prison facility will be closed by late January 2010.
NASA has come to the rescue with a plan to reuse several of the older space shuttles that were going to be retired anyway. These spacecraft will be retrofitted with a 99 year supply of food, water and oxygen. All of the aforementioned life support items will be internally recycled by onboard equipment, once per week. (No Tang will be provided!) The entire package including the embarked detainees will then be shot into a lunar orbit.
Congress is happy because it has a plan that can now be funded. The Democratic left wing is happy because Gitmo will be closed. The Republican right wing is happy because the detainees will still be in prison, without lawyers. The American people are happy because they are seeing justice prevail. Even the environmentalists are happy!
Friendly countries around the world are happy because they didn't really want to take the detainees. Un-friendly countries around the world are not happy because they have to find another excuse to point at the USA. As for the detainees being happy, who the hell cares!
