Former Vice President of the United States Al Gore has accused Congressman Joe Wilson of learning to make a noise like a whale in heat and luring the big mammals unto beaches.
"He has listened to hours of whale noises and speeches by my former boss, Bill Clinton and mixed the two together", Gore states in the latest edition of "'Greenpiece Today'."
The former Presidential candidate stated that he could hear it himself though many others didn't, and was backed up by actress Kirsty Alley.
"I have to agree that there were definite noises but they didn't sound sexy to me. Are whales sexy? Oh yeah, well that's certainly an eye-opener."
Meanwhile Michael Moore had showed up at the beach and brought his camera with him.
"I hear a story here. Look here comes one in close to shore now. Where is Joe hiding? The noise seems to be coming from the old lifeguard stand and seat."
After going and getting a skinny-assed 12-year-old to climb up, the boy came back down with a rigged tape recorder.
"Erase all the fingerprints and place it outside Wilson's office door. He's bound to pick it up", stated Moore. I'll be there with the camera. Let's see..."Joe The Blow-Hole", that's what I'll call it."
"I'll want my cut", demanded Gore.
"You make your own documentary!" shouted Moore loud enough to drive the whale back out to sea.
"Better turn that thing back up, it's getting away!"