Jimmy Carter Calls Joe Wilson A Racist!

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 18 September 2009

image for Jimmy Carter Calls Joe Wilson A Racist!
"Hee-all, Hee-all! ways calls people that!"

U.S. Representative Joe Wilson's oldest son defended his father against a claim by former President Jimmy Carter that the congressman's outburst during a speech by President Barack Obama was "based on racism."

Responding to an audience question at a town hall at his presidential center in Atlanta, Carter said Tuesday that Wilson's outburst was also rooted in fears of a black president.

"First of all", stated Carter, "This man can't be normal as he refuses to eat peanuts and that can only make him a Nazi!"

When pointed out by Wilson's son that his father was allergic to peanuts, the former President got very red in the face and stood up on a chair, yelling "See! See! He's allergic to the truth!"

"I may have lusted in my heart over the Statue of Liberty and spread the rumor that I was an illegal Kennedy, but I would never be so bold as to go right up to "Mr. Peanut himself, and called him a liar!"

"There is not a racist bone in my dad's body," returned Alan Wilson, an Iraq veteran who is running for state attorney general in South Carolina. "He doesn't even laugh at distasteful jokes. I won't comment on former President Carter, because I don't know President Carter. But I know my dad, and it's just not in him."

"Oh yeah!' yelled Carter, "I have witnesses that overheard Congressman Joe Wilson say that Mr. Peanut should not be shown on television without a warning that some kids are allergic to peanuts! That, my friend, is racism in the first degree."

"Banning Mr. Peanut from TV! What next, Peter Pan and Jiffy? I've eaten peanuts all my life and it hasn't affected me, except....the breath cutting off every now and then."

"Billy ate them out of a bottle of cola and ...well, died, but not from peanuts I bet!"

"Listen you young Hazelnut, I know Mr. Peanut, Mr. Peanut is a friend of mine, and you Sir, are no Mr. Peanut!"

He then tossed out free bags of peanuts to all the reporters. Thus leading all major airlines to call Jimmy Carter a "racist!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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