Nevada Anthropologist and son fall out over Breast Appreciation Day

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Friday, 11 September 2009

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image for Nevada Anthropologist and son fall out over Breast Appreciation Day
Daffit O. Poor, son of Nobello Cultural Anthropologist Dr. Diane J. Poor cleaning up in shithouse bathroom.

LAS VEGAS, NV (ABSNN)-- In a follow up to Thursday's story by Skoob1999, Daffit O. Poor, the son of Nobello Prize Winning Cultural Anthropologist Dr. Diane J. Poor, has been removed from the family home after what Las Vegas police termed a "domestic squabble over National Breast Appreciation Day."

The 21-year-old man sought shelter under a freeway overpass where he held an impromptu news conference early Friday morning.

"My mommy's wrong, wrong, wrong," said Mr. Poor.

"Wrong about what, sir?"

"National Breast Appreciation Day is not 'Cultural Terrorism,'" he told reporters.

"In fact, it is a celebration of boobies. How could that be wrong? If she hadn't breast fed me, I wouldn't be the big, strapping boy I am today.

"Actually, there should be two days of celebrations: one for each breast," he said.

Reporters converged on the Anthropologist's off campus office in the Starbucks Coffee shop on Torrey Pines Road in Las Vegas. Dr. Poor was addressing a group of her students at the time, but took a break to set the record straight about her son, Daffit.

"Poor Daffy," she said. "He was never breast fed. He was a bottle baby, as were each of his udder two siblings, Jemp and Pistol. I wouldn't have chanced losing these melons to breast feeding."

"Why are you so opposed to National Breast Appreciation Day, Dr. Poor?"

"I'm really not opposed to it. I just needed some really good press and TV time. I haven't done a lot of work since I got tenure," she whispered.

"Will you take your son, Daffit, back into your home, Dr. Poor?"

"Only if he can get me the phone number of that Jesuit Priest, Dubois," she said.

"For the record, Doctor, what is your son's full name?"

"Daffit Oedipus Poor."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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