Great Grandson of Gen. MacArthur Vows "I Shall Return" After Drunken Rampage thru Philippines

Funny story written by Asheville Jack

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

image for Great Grandson of Gen. MacArthur Vows "I Shall Return" After Drunken Rampage thru Philippines
Photo of one of the "geisha" as taken by Captain MacArthur

Captain Philbert MacArthur, great grandson of famous WWII Gen Douglas MacArthur, was banished from the Philippine Islands forever after a weekend of drunken fighting and destruction at local brothels.

The Philippine Naval attaché for the U.S. Navy in Manila ordered Captain MacArthur's permanent exile while also noting the bravery of his Great Grandfather. "It' a good thing that General MacArthur is dead."

The weekend of sexual perversions and violence started when MacArthur visited a local brothel and ordered several of the prostitutes to dress as Japanese geishas. In the drunken sexual stupor that followed the Captain knocked over a candle that started a fire. MacArthur acknowledged that the burning down of the brothel was an unfortunate incident, and that he probably wouldn't be welcomed back after losing his wallet in the blaze. MacArthur ended the drunken weekend fighting with the owner of the brothel, ex-sumo champion Akio Zuzido, who was wounded in the leg by a ricocheted 9mm slug.

Waving an almost empty bottle of whisky in the air while being carried up the gangway to his ship on a stretcher, the still inebriated Captain MacArthur called out the famous words of his Great Grand Father, "I'll shhaaaall reeetuurn..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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