(Washington D.C, Thursday) Raging fury tonight among card-carrying Democrats as controversy looms about their internet chat room "Democratic Underground Doc Con" which was accused today of supporting Vice President Dick Cheney's surprise presidential bid in November this year.
The storm broke out when officials in Eliott Spitzer's department called in the Feds to investigate anonymous credit card payments made via PayPal that allegedly creamed off $100 from every chat room user supporting the Democrats' anointed presidential hopefuls Senators Kerry and Edwards with contributions via the internet site. The money was then allegedly e-mailed via a series of global transactions and has since been traced to an emergency facility copyrighted by the Vice President.
"This is not the first time such an accusation has been made", said a spokesman for the site who furiously refuted as "base slurs" any notion that the adjudicators who police the web site are all Republican Party activists hoping to dump President Bush Jr and restore a 'Government for Sanity' co-alition led by Cheney and deputised by ousted ex-CIA chief George Tenet.
"Last time this happened we traced a clique of sex-offenders who masquaraded as bona-fide users of our facility. The CIA became involved but eventually dropped the investigation after a tip off that named ex-UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher as the instigator of the inflitration.
"We shall be reviewing our membership records accordingly and would like to take this opportunity of mentioning that any sad old bastards blogging on out web board are well known to us as Thatcher's coterie of mercenaries who are paid to cover up her daughter Cherie's paramilitary records among the Provos.
"Chic Anery as he is known on our site is a well known pervert with legions of perjuring accomplices on both sides of the Atlantic, most of whom were paid by Colonel Gaddafi to conceal sex-crimes against minors perpetrated by court-martialled former conscripts of the British Army.
"We are supporting our official candidates as are the majority of all sane, Bush-bashing Dems."
Disgraced ex-heroin junkie and former KGB topless modlel Carole Caplin was unavailable for comment....
