Written by Kevin Kelton

Friday, 9 July 2004

Los Angeles, CA -- Hollywood Democrats today blasted President Bush for the worst record of creating hit TV series of any administration since Herbert Hoover.

"This White House has presided over the biggest decline in sitcoms in 50 years," said Laurie David, Democratic activist and wife of "Seinfeld" creator Larry David, charging that Republican policies are responsible for "the creative deficit that gave us 'Mind Of The Married Man' and 'Wanda At Large.'"

Ms. David, who if you forgot is the wife of "Seinfeld" creator Larry David, points out that in the eight years of Clinton-Gore, Americans reaped a wealth of hit comedy series, including "Friends," "Frasier," "Sex And The City," "Seinfeld," and "Curb Your Enthusiasm," which stars Ms. David's husband, Mr. David, who in his spare time is still the creator of "Seinfeld."

"And the landscape in drama is no better," noted actor-turned-Buddha-statue Ed Asner. "Clinton's policies gave us 'E.R.,' 'The Sopranos,' 'West Wing,' and 'CSI.' What's Dubya got to show for three years, besides 'The Bachelor' and a couple of 'Survivor' knock-offs?"

Former M*A*S*H star and Liberal Hollywood Elite co-founder Mike Farrell agreed, adding that Republican trickle-down demographics benefits shows like "Joe Millionaire" and "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" more than working-class shows like "The 20-Thousand Dollar Pyramid."

Mr. David, husband of the wife of "Seinfeld" creator, Laurie David, claimed that the Bush-Cheney reality TV boom has unfairly helped real people while letting fake people fall through the cracks. "Look at (former "Seinfeld" characters) George, Kramer and Elaine. Not one of them has been a character in a hit series since Clinton left office. But Omarosa gets to be on lots of different shows. What's up with that?"

White House spokesman Scott McClellan defended the Bush record on hit series, noting that while "CSI" may have premiered in the waning days of the Clinton presidency, the show didn't become a hit until Bush was elected. "I mean, come on, December 2000, the Supreme Court stops the Florida recount. Two days later 'CSI' hits #1 in the Nielsens," said McClellan. "Then Bush-Cheney gave us 'CSI: Miami.' And if re-elected, Americans can expect 4 more 'CSI' series by 2008."

Not to be outdone, a spokesman for the Kerry-Edwards campaign said that if elected, Democrats will grow the gross domestic comedy product, or "sit-conomy," by 20-million new series over eight years. According to their new campaign website, www.elect-kerry-edwards-or-else-read-books.com, the Democratic ticket has a detailed plan to turn the sitconomy around. "Given that there's six broadcast networks plus HBO and F/X, that's only 2.5 million hit shows each. And Showtime might be able to turn one out, as well."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hollywood, Democrats

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