Washington, D.C.-President Obama, frustrated with progress on his health care bill has taken out a contract on America. Members of The United Union Goons Union will stop at nothing to see the contract fulfilled. Even if it means eating their own.
"We will stop at nothing to see the contract fulfilled. Even if it means eating our own.", said union boss Al Patrone. The effort shows the commitment they have to the president and his ideals.
"This effort shows the commitment we have to the president and his ideals." Patrone added, between sips of Long Island Iced Tea. The union expects a difficult fight ahead, but feels certain that they will prevail.
"We expect a difficult fight ahead, but we feel certain that we will prevail." Patrone said, as he leaned in closer and whispered in this reporter's ear.
For now, most people can rest easy knowing that the union's influence can only go so far. They should realize, however, that The United Union Goons Union has resorted to violence in the past, in order to get it's way, and isn't above doing so again. "I'm not sayin'.", said Mr. Patrone. "I'm just sayin'....you know?"