Bitter New Jersey Housewife Claims Government Stole "Cash for Clunkers" Idea from Stupid Husband

Written by Agatha Bloom

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

image for Bitter New Jersey Housewife Claims Government Stole "Cash for Clunkers" Idea from Stupid Husband
Leroy Hobart poses next to one of his prized, but overpriced, possessions

HOBOKEN, N.J-- The highly anticipated government program "Cash for Clunkers", which offers high value trade-in incentives to owners of less-than-desirable cars and trucks, is in legal hot water this week as officials are forced to respond to a legal complaint by New Jersey housewife Mary Lou Hobart that the government stole the idea from her husband, Leroy.

"My idiot husband has been paying way too much for garbage vehicles since before these guys were even born," insisted Mrs. Hobart during an impromptu press conference atop an upturned water pail between the Dodge Dart and a rust-red push mower. She gestured to the mini-junkyard in her lawn and described a vicious pattern consisting of tax returns, buy-1-get-1 free offers, and the time Leroy claimed he misread the sales the tune of $4,700.

Among other allegations, Mrs. Hobart claims copyright infringement on the grounds that her husband's prized Neon (Plymouth, not Dodge) displays a license plate border reading "I Got Taken For a Ride At Honest Abe's- Hoboken". In response to a suggestion that the $6 billion government program and a novelty license plate border could possibly be a coincidence, Mrs. Hobart issued the following statement "I'm clearly an optimist, but if that's how it turns out, well then we'll just hide a storage fee in the sales contract we sign to sell these cars to the government. Let's see how they like paying for undercoating and full coverage insurance."

The government is expected to find a reason to exempt the Hobarts' vehicles from the offer within the hour.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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