Disney Presents Animation Deal to US Pentagon

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for Disney Presents Animation Deal to US Pentagon
A SliXar image with New York City skyline romoved, replaced by mountains.

EMERYVILLE, CA - Today, president Donald Disney of SliXar Animation Studios, a CGI production company based in Emeryville, California, contacted the U.S. Pentagon about producing a series of animated shorts featuring Air Force One.

This follows the U.S. Air Force's release of 145 breathtaking new photographs showing Air Force One "making steep banks and other maneuvers" not usually performed by the Boeing VC-25.

The photographs were made public following requests under the Freedom of Information Act by CNNetwork News and other news organizations, and highlight a mission costing roughly $329,000, an amount incalculable in spoof dollars.

An actual Pentagon official noted, "the hours would have been flown regardless, and the expenses would have been accrued on a different mission."

Disney responded, "What kind of a 'mickey-mouse' organization are these guys running over there, anyway? What if I just took $329,000 outside, and let it blow away in the wind? People would say, man! That sure was a stupid thing to do! If I responded, well, I was just going to blow it on something else anyway, people would think I'd lost my mind.

"Well, at least maybe I can save them a little bit of money," added the not-so-goofy animation titan.

He said SliXar Studios would be willing to produce several 30-second high-resolution CGI spots highlighting Air Force One's capabilities, footage more than suitable to update Pentagon files on the plane, for about half the cost of the newly-released photos.

No word on whether the Pentagon is seriously entertaining the offer.

Sources did indicate the Pentagon still has been unable to retrieve the e-mail sent to Louis Caldera early last May concerning a Photo-Shop tutorial that, had he attended it, would have kept many thousands of New York City trousers much cleaner the day of the now-infamous Air Force One flyover.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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