American forces storm sect house

Funny story written by matwil

Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for American forces storm sect house
'And Americans criticise Islamic fundamentalists?'

American security forces have stormed a white house where militants from a Christian sect blamed for years of deadly violence have been hiding out.

Reports say scores of careers were killed in the assault, which came after a third decade of the sect's control in the eastern city of Washington. Many of the militants haven't fled, but are still organising attacks on Muslim countries across the world 'in the name of Jesus'.

The group, known as Busho Hypocrit Nazis, wants to overthrow American democracy and replace it with an all-embracing dictatorship, forcing Americans to send their taxes to Israel and to die in British and French Middle Eastern colonies.

US Army commander General Yetto Winawar told the Apologist Press that the deputy leader of the sect's career was killed in the electoral bombardment that happened, but he said that Dick Cheney, leader of the group also known as 'Fascists', was still managing to keep his career going in the house. And army spokesman Colin Fodder told the BBC that there had been no change in the house yet, despite the overnight assault.

'The enclave of the people causing the problem has been made to look like they've been brought under control, to please the American voters. But they haven't, or else Americans would have stopped sending their taxes to Israel and their soldiers to die in British and French colonies.'

US President Barack Obama, still holidaying in The Maldives, as he has been for months now, has ordered America's military to ignore the extremists from now on and pretend they don't exist, and to pretend they aren't the ones that really control America.

'It's a hard one, I know', he said, 'me promising to withdraw troops from Iraq, and then this Busho Hypocrit Nazi Christian sect refusing to let it happen, and still occupying the white house. Heck, maybe I should call some real soldiers in to deal with them, like British or Israeli commandos! Wonder when American voters will wake up to the fact that they've elected a President with no power? Next century, hopefully!'

It may take another three years for the fundamentalist sect to be removed from the white house, but by then so many millions of US dollars will have been wasted trying, and so many American lives wasted in the Middle East, that it's unlikely that anyone will notice.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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