Historical Marker Relocation Perplexing National Park Service

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

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Historical markers are generally placed at sites where something significant happened in the past. Often, they mark places where famous people lived or died or historical events occured. Generally, the National Park Service is responsible for placing and retaining these markers.

This month, however, the National Park Service has discovered that several of their markers have been relocated. Hilda Bergstrom of the N.P.S. answered questions about these activities.

"Just last week, we discovered that a George Washington Slept Here marker from near Valley Forge was moved to the site of a famous New Orleans brothel. The marker from Trinity Site in New Mexico, where the first atomic bomb was tested before dropping one on Hiroshima, has been moved too. This morning, it was found outside of a cannery packing pinto beans."

"The marker from The Bottomless Pit inside of Carlsbad Caverns is now located next to Oprah Winfrey's refrigerator. Interestingly enough, the generic marker that denotes Mammothe Caves as being the biggest hole in the world is also outside of Oprah's house."

"The marker from the Grand Canyon that noted the largest empty space in the world is now on the White House Lawn, just below the Oval Office."

"The newest marker, outside of the hospital where Barack Obama was born, was discovered in Kenya."

"The marker outside of the Hershey Candy company, noting that the world's largest sucker was made there, was found outside of the home of Monica Lewinsky."

"The historical marker noting the murder site of Sheriff Pat Garrett, who shot William Bonney, was relocated to a clothing plant where they make Billy the Kid jeans."

"Another marker, noting the early home of Michael Jackson and saying that the king of pop played here was relocated to a junior high school playground in Los Angeles."

Anyone with information leading to the arrest and apprehension of this horrible criminal should call their local police department.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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