President Sparkoffsky of France is under armed guard at a millitary hospital tonight, after being found collapsed and foaming at the mouth whilst out jogging. Passers by watched for 30 minutes, not realising it was not his normal behaviour, before he was rushed off to hospital.
Police are following reports he had run 1000km after lighting fires in a forest in the south of France. One witness claims to have ''seen a small boy playing with matches'' in the area, before running away with a much taller woman, giggling.
Doctors treating Sparko say he's had a problem with his vagal nerve, which normally runs from the abdomen to the brain, but in this case, no brain can be found. ''Eets very strange, ee as got nowthing in ees ead, only a leetul piece of camembert''said Dr Johnny Mar, with a very strong accent.
A series of nuclear tests are planned, accompanied by strange music and dancing women on 3 metre stilts wearing very small costumes, but as with every time, nobody's quite sure why.