Congressman's Face Breaks Windows, Scares Mice

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 25 July 2009

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Congressman Henry Waxman , US Representative of the 30th District in California was indicted by a group of talk show hosts as the ugliest man they had ever set eyes upon, by far the ugliest person in the US Congress.

The indictment charges that Henry Waxman commanded attention interrupting serious work on the floor by constantly drawing people's eyes to his face and both mirrors on the wall and even some of his own party's eyeglasses to shatter.

"He looks like a gay Colonel Potter from the MASH TV show back in the 1980's", stated Senator Jim Bunning from Kentucky, no beauty himself. "Thank goodness I'm not over there trying to work with that face looking over at me."

"I think he looks more like an elderly "Terry The Toad" from "American Graffiti", stated another. "Can't you just see him on that little motor scooter?"

All agreed that he must have been in an accident during his youth and his face didn't heal right.

"I hear he's got a dog almost as ugly as he is", stated a fellow congressman. "And it won the World's Ugliest Dog" two years running a few years back."

However, Waxman overheard some of the guys talking and called this reporter over.

"They're talking about my...LOOK AT ME!! face again, aren't they? Well, before I had four years of Bush, eight years of Bill Clinton assholing around and then eight more years of another Bush and now Dumbo the Elephant, I had a passable face if you were in shadow-like."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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