Written by Frankie The J

Saturday, 25 July 2009

image for Uga the bulldog, mascot of the University of Georgia, suicidal after Ginger's death says vet
Two unidentified canines stand vigil outside the UGA Vet Hospital in Athens where Uga is being treated for depression

Uga the bulldog, longtime mascot of the University of Georgia sports teams, was hospitalized Saturday following a suicide attempt says UGA Veterinarian Hospital officials. Uga's girlfriend, Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua, passed away earlier this week leaving Uga completely devastated.

"Uga remains in guarded condition here in Athens," said canine psychiatrist Ron Paul V. "We have removed all sharp toys from his kennel as a precaution," he said. "If he doesn't respond soon, I will increase his doggie downers. We may even need to resort to hydrotherapy."

"Do you mean to water board Uga," TheSpoof.com's ace medical reporter, Skoob1999 asked the veterinarian.

"Only if truly necessary. Really though, water boarding has gotten a bad rap lately," Dr. Paul stated. "Believe me, hydrotherapy is far less damaging than electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)," the doctor claimed.

Uga and Gidget met at the 1999 University of Georgia-Georgia Tech football game. The Chihuahua was walking along the sidelines with her trainer, Jorge, when they spotted the large bulldog licking his testicles at midfield during the halftime show.

"You know, Ginger, I wish I could do that," Jorge said wistfully as he watched Uga lick his balls.

"Jorge, that dog would bite you," Ginger told him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Taco Bell




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