Adam Lambert Dating Jessica Simpson

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

image for Adam Lambert Dating Jessica Simpson
Adam Lambert's Lamborghini Murcielago which Jessica Simpson says goes way faster than Tony's Ford truck.

LOS ANGELES - Fox News broke the story that once Adam Lambert heard that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo had dumped his girlfriend Jessica Simpson, he quickly emailed her and asked her for a date.

The heart-broken, devastated, and well-endowed Simpson said that she would love to go out with him.

Lambert picked Jessica up in his 2009 Lamborghini Murcielago and the two drove up the Pacific Coast to Port Hueneme where they watched the beautiful Pacific sunset.

Adam said that they had a great time talking about eye shadow, eyeliner, guys, lipstick, hairdos, Tony Romo's views on European immigration, and Chris Allen's views on crop rotation.

He added that they parked at an isolated beach and both got out of the car. He said that Jessica was wearing a very skimpy pink bikini swimsuit.

Adam said that as he watched her remove her bikini bottom she started smiling and pointed down to his crotch region. Her eyes got the size of golf balls and she remarked, "Hey there sailor, are you sure you're gay?"

Lambert smiled and answered that he thought he was but that judging from the bulge in his swimsuit he said that he was beginning to have his doubts.

He smiled and said that he had recently said that there were three women in the world who he would change from being gay to being straight for, Carrie Underwood, Keira Knightley, and Lisa Marie Presley.

He laughed and said that he was now going to have to add one more name to that list...Jessica Simpson.

Jessica beamed with pride as she stood there listening to Adam Lambert say those words. He looked into her beautiful brown eyes and asked her if she had gotten over Tony yet.

Tony frickin' who??? she asked.

They both laughed and hugged each other. They then sat on a sand dune and compared tattoos. They hugged and kissed some more and it wasn't long before Adam had gotten to second base. About three minutes later he slid into third base.

And then just as the California sun was setting in the beautiful Pacific Ocean, Jessica heard the unmistakably clear sound of a bat...going, going, gone, HOMERUN!

In a related story. Anderson Cooper has stated that he is the first media journalist to refer to the Adam Lambert - Jessica Simpson relationship as 'Adssica.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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