Written by Adam Click

Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for Man Grills Family Over Lost Wallet
Delores Muff always had good taste. Now she makes a great stew, too!

Port Charlotte, Florida-The enticing smell of barbeque wafted over this quiet suburban street on Thursday but when hungry neighbors investigated they found a ghastly scene of mayhem and cannibalism.

Donald Muff had attacked and killed, and was in the process of cooking his wife and two children in the backyard when police arrived to arrest him.

"He was calmly brushing barbeque sauce on his son's torso with one of those big mops. Just humming away, oblivious to his surrounding.", explained Patrolman Charles Dreyfus, who was the first to arrive. "There was a plate of miscellaneous body parts on the picnic table along with various condiments and a big bowl of potato salad. It looked like he was expecting quite a crowd."

"Apparently Mr. Muff discovered that his wallet had gone missing. After questioning his wife, Delores, daughter, Denise, and son, Howard Muff, all with negative results, he became enraged, accused them all of lying, and started chasing them around with a large axe. Then things got ugly."

"The irony is that while searching the house after the arrest, we found his wallet right where he had left it. It was next to the computer, on the desk where Mr. Muff had sat paying bills the night before."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Royalty




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