Ensign Family Checking Account Outed

Funny story written by Pointer

Friday, 10 July 2009


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Ensign's Conservative Christian Parents have been cradling him since he was preborn

Nevada Republican Senator John Ensign has made big news since his ensign stood at attention for a married campaign worker for about eighteen months( a new record for a Christian conservative penis on viagra). But apparently that was only the foreplay part of the story as evidence of hush money from campaign funds and possible collusion from the mistress' hubbie and Ensign's family have come to light.

Decades of Ensign family financial records have shown a pattern of paying big and small bucks for little Johnnie Ensign's indiscretions. A 1970's set of checks for broken windows and minor liquor burglaries seem to be the beginning of a pattern of paying for Johnnie's poor choices. In the 80's the family is paying off DUI's and speeding tickets at the rate of Senator Ensign's claimed church attendance. Into the 90's it's pot and E arrests that are being bought off on a regular basis.

There is a quiet spell in the new century until the sexual dalliance with the campaign worker and assistant which culminates in Mommy and Daddy drafting a withdrawal to the tune of almost 100 thousand smacks...probably a lot more than Johnnie got in the sack with Cindy Hampton but not as much as hubbie Dougie seems to have extorted from the Ensign campaign.

Senator Ensign announced at a press conference that he would like to thank his parents for everything they did to secure a good future for their sonny boy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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