Worldwide shock as Belgium conquers Russia

Funny story written by Incoming Dessert

Sunday, 31 May 2009

image for Worldwide shock as Belgium conquers Russia

World leaders across the world today were left in a state of shock as the country of Russia falls under the rule of Belgium.

The news came at eleven o' clock last night, as the Belgian general Aloys Carlon broadcast the victory on worldwide television channels.

This is only the latest of a surprising set of events in Belgium in the past few weeks, which began with an uprising in April. The new government began to make rapid changes immediately, including breaking off diplomatic ties with almost all European countries and introducing conscription to boost the armed forces. NATO watched in horror as events unfolded, but most countries weren't too afraid, reasoning that Belgium was no threat.

This would prove to be a dangerous assumption to make, as last night Belgium proved what a devastating power it was.

In one of the most effective military manoeuvres of all time, two thirds of the Belgian armed forces were airlifted into Russia, slamming hard into the capital of Moscow. Muscovite forces fought hard, but their numbers were too small, and the superior Belgian forces quickly overwhelmed them.

In an attempt at a swift retaliation, Russian military commanders ordered missile strikes onto Belgium, only to discover that Belgian hackers had broken into their computers and rendered them useless. It was later discovered that these same hackers had also broken into Russian radar and surface-to-air missile systems, preventing any form of defence against the Belgian airlift.

With their computers crippled, the generals attempted to bring in the Russian troops, but the Belgians were prepared, and a series of strikes using the Russians own missiles decimated several units, and forced a Russian surrender.

As well as being horrified at this incident, world leaders are also terrified. A tiny country, one which had always seemed insignificant, has suddenly taken out one of the world's superpowers, and gained a massive nuclear arsenal into the bargain. As diplomats pour into Belgian embassies to stage protests, there is one question on everyone's minds. Who's next?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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