Governor Mark Sanford Takes A Chainsaw To His Marriage To Skil® Power Tool Company Heiress, Jenny Sanford

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Thursday, 25 June 2009

image for Governor Mark Sanford Takes A Chainsaw To His Marriage To Skil® Power Tool Company Heiress, Jenny Sanford
Land o' Dixie

Columbia, SC - If Paris Hilton thought he had it bad this past weekend, he should take a look at the problems South Carolina Governor, Mark Sandford has had to deal with.

The Governor has been in the press after disappearing over the weekend, out of contact with his staff, family, and virtually everyone in the state; conduct unbecoming of a sitting Governor. However, having returned home, it has come to light that he has been involved with a woman in Argentina, where he had actually taken himself, and that the infidelity in his marriage had caused him to be evicted from his own home.

His wife, Jenny Sandford, heiress of the Skil® Power Tool Company fortune, is said to have kicked him out of the house two weeks prior to his leaving, which explains why a Governor can become persona non grata.

Anyway the whole story seems to bear a striking resemblance to a song; an old southern ditty, printed below for your contemplation and amusement.

I Wish I Was In Dixie

1st verse

I wish I was in the land of cotton,
old times there are not forgotten,
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.
In Dixie land where I was born in, early on a frosty mornin',
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.

Chorus
O, I wish I was in Dixie! Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie Land I'll take my stand
To live and die in Dixie
Away, away, away down south in Dixie!

2nd Verse
Old Missus marry Will the weaver,
Willium was a gay deceaver;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
But when he put his arm around'er,
He smiled as fierce as a forty-pound'er,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

Chorus

3rd Verse
His face was sharp as a butcher's cleaver
But that did not seem to grieve her
Look away! Look away!
Look away! Dixie Land.
Old Missus acted the foolish part
And died for a man that broke her heart
Look away! Look away!
Look away! Dixie Land.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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