Sacha Baron Cohen Says Chaz Bono Is A Cutey

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 25 June 2009

image for Sacha Baron Cohen Says Chaz Bono Is A Cutey
Sacha Baron Cohen sitting in his backyard reading The Wall Street Journal.

LONDON - Dark, shock humor comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, 40 reportedly told a reporter for The London Daily Telegram that he saw a before and after photo of Chastity (Chaz) Bono and the gal/guy is definitely a cutey.

Sacha said that just from the photo he could see that Chaz, who is also 40, is certainly a keeper. He added that although he is not a switch hitter he has been known to play the role of a designated hitter.

Crazy Cohen said that he is surprised that he employed several baseball euphemisms because he absolutely hates the sport, especially the incessant crotch-grabbing, the uncivilized tobacco spitting, the seventh inning stretch, the bullpen, and the peanuts, popcorn, and cracker jacks song.

He did say that he does not mind watching a pitcher periodically throw a spitball or seeing a batter occasionally use a corked bat.

Cohen did add that he thinks that the 'arguing show' is truly ridiculous. Two grown men standing there both yelling at the top of their lungs, one in a little boys baseball outfit and the other dressed in dark clothes like a Johnny Cash wannabe.

Sacha said that to him, baseball is as boring as counting all of the tattoos, piercings, cuts, freckles, and pimples on Amy Winehouse's body, which by the way he did confess that he has done on at least three occasions.

He suggested that if the president of baseball (commissioner) wanted to make it interesting he would let the players fight like they do in ice hockey.

He said that the umpires should allow the batter to chase the pitcher with a bat as long as the pitcher is allowed to have a bat as well.

Sacha also suggested that everytime that a pitcher throws a wild pitch he should have to put $20 dollars into a fund to help buy the batboy a uniform that actually fits instead of merely using the second baseman's hand-me-downs.

Sacha was asked if he planned on dating Chaz Bono. He smiled and said that he has already emailed him and now it's just a matter of waiting for Chaz to reply.

Cohen did stress that if he and Chastity do enter into a relationship it will definitely be 100 percent platonic.

In other news. Ethiopia is going ahead with its plans to invade Switzerland. The Ethiopian President says that his country needs the chocolate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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