Chastity Bono To Appear Nude In PlayMister Magazine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 16 June 2009


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Chastity Bono's sexual reassignment doctor, Dr. Yale Lambeau-Zavattini.

BEVERLY HILLS - Cher Bono's little daughter, 40-year-old Chastity has agreed to do a "Before and After Layout Spread" in PlayMister Men's Magazine.

PlayMister's editor Terzolino Atwater stated that it will definitely be a first for his magazine which was founded by his grandmother Chartreuse "Vodka Collins" Atwater back in March of 1949.

Atwater said that the 'layout spread' that they did for transexual tennis pro Renee Richards 34 years ago is the number one selling PlayMister edition in the magazine's 60 year history. He revealed that it sold over one million copies in the San Francisco area alone.

Chasity will be featured in PlayMister's 60th anniversary edition. The only other individual who will be appearing in the July edition will be Pamela Anderson in a piece titled, "Three Damn Good Reasons Why Cellulite Does Not Scare The Hell Out Of Me Anymore."

In her article Pamela will be clothed except that she will have either her left nipple or right nipple exposed in three of the 17 photos.

I personally called Pamela to confirm which of the two nipples is the exposed nipple, but at press time she had yet to get back with the information.

Terzolino Atwater is thrilled to say that he beat out Hugh Hefner's Playboy Magazine (who offered Chastity $3 million) as well as Larry Flynt's Hustler Magazine (who offered Chastity $2.9 million) for the honor to showcase the amazing pictorial story of Miss Chastity Bono, soon to be Mr. Chaz Bono.

Atwater said that his offer is of course higher than $3 million, but he declined to say what the figure was. (EDITOR'S NOTE: After a phone call to Anderson Cooper, we can report that the exact figure that PlayMister will be paying Chastity Bono is $5.2 million.)

PlayMister Magazine has vowed to treat the story with the utmost dignity and respect. He says that they will not show Chastity holding a microphone near her whatchamacallit, or show her bending over wearing nothing but her half smile picking up a tambourine.

Photos of Chastity riding sidesaddle on a palomino wearing only a pair of Roy Rogers cowboy boots although extremely graphic in nature are done with an unbounded touch of class.

Another interesting set of totally nude photos show Chastity standing on a skateboard in the middle of Sepulveda Boulevard in L.A. while rubbing hand sanitizer on both of her ample droopers (ample bobbers).

Chastity has said that she is not ashamed of her body and that she does not care if America and the world including those crazy fools in North Korea see every intimate inch of her erotically sensuous body (her words).

Cher's daughter confessed that she is not ashamed of the "I Love Lindsay Lohan" tattoo that she has on her bikini line.

She is also not ashamed of the "I've Got The Hots For Paris Hilton" tattoo which is located on her left cheek.

She did say that she is kind of embarrassed about the tattoo that reads "Cantatita Del Escondido Was Here" whose location she emphatically refused to reveal. Chastity/Chaz said that everyone will just have to buy the magazine.

In other news. Lou Dobbs outspoken critical proponent of the nation's immigration policies and programs (and anti-illegal immigrants dude) has turned down an offer from the Mexican government to visit Mexico on a one week, all-expenses paid vacation.

Dobbs told a close friend that the one-way ticket made him feel somewhat uneasy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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