Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 21 May 2009

image for Tatiana Del Toro Returns To American Idol
Tatiana Del Toro recently singing at the grand opening of the newest Taco Bell in Fargo, North Dakota.

HOLLYWOOD - Tatiana Del Toro, the 23-year-old Puerto Rican Singing Drama Queen was back on the American Idol stage for the 'Finale Show.'

"Tater Tat" as she was nicknamed by Paris Hilton sat in the audience and was called up to receive an award for having the most memorable laugh since Pee Wee Herman.

Show host Ryan Seacrest said that Del Toro has a laugh that can best be described as being a cross between a laughing hyena and Fran Drescher.

Tatiana wore what she refers to as the shortest darn miniskirt that she could find.

She stated that she wanted America to know that not only can she sing fabulously, but she also looks (using her words) fantastically delicious.

Del Toro even remarked to Paula backstage that she purposely wore the extremely short miniskirt so that she could show all of the guys her well-manicured landing strip.

Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson both could be seen taking pictures of Tatiana with their cell phones.

When Ryan asked Tatiana how she felt about being back on the American Idol stage she flipped back her hair, rolled her eyes, and yelled out "Eeeeeee!"

Ryan asked her if she was okay. And she replied,


She then grabbed the microphone out of Ryan's hand, cued the band, and began singing for the fourth time "Saving All My Love For You."

After she finished she told Ryan to give out the phone number. He told her that there was no phone number.

She looked into the camera and said, "America my name is Tatiana Del Toro and I approve that you can call me at my cell phone number which is..." (CELL PHONE NUMBER DELETED BY EDITOR).

Ryan then told her to give him back the mic. Tatiana said no and that she wanted him and the four judges to apologize to her in front of America for making fun of her by calling her names like the pitchless Prima Donna, the disoriented diva, and the muchacha with the marshmallows.

Seacrest called security and two officers went on stage, handcuffed her, and led her away to a waiting patrol car.

Simon Cowell reportedly whispered to Paula that frankly he was surprised that Tatiana was not tasered. Paula remarked that you can't taser someone for not being a good singer.

And Cowell replied that he knew that, but what he meant was that if he could be honest, he was surprised that she wasn't tasered so that the ratings could have gone even higher.

Randy later said, "You know dawg, for me, Tater Tot, or Tater Tit, or Tinker Toy, or whatever that crazy broads name is was just to pitchy for me.

I've worked with Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Buddy Holly and Tattle Tail is just not all of that."

Kara said that speaking of not being all of that, DioGuardi said that even though Bikini Girl may have bigger num-nums (melons) than her, she feels good knowing that at least her chumbawumbas (jugs) are real and not 'store bought' like "Kit Kats" are.

Meanwhile Nick Mitchell aka Norman Gentle says he has been booked to perform at a wedding reception at the East Los Angeles Knights of Columbus Hall #108 for Javier and Esmeralda Balboa.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: American Idol

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