A man, a Savannah man, reeled in horror after arriving home mid afternoon unexpected to discover his Father-In-Law masturbating in front of the Television. To make matters work my wife's Dad attempted to switch channels when he realized he had been caught 'with his pants down' only to flick from one porn site to another in his pathetic attempt to find a sports channel!
His statement "I didn't realize your cable had sex channels' simply did not ring true - what would have been more apt, in my opinion, would have been the statement "I didn't realize you would be home this early."
Luckily no penis was seen and I merely exited the family home and vowed to call in some carpet cleaners and have the dog sent to the vet.
As yet I have not informed my wife, but have told all my friends, her boss and her colleagues - but I don't know how long I can hold off from letting her know.
Though it is not a crime, and I suggest that over 99% of readers of this very true story have done it, masturbation, by an elderly relative - on your $5000 couch takes some getting over.
(c) Atticus Finch (Emotional Wreck)
