Hillary Still Having Nightmares About Made-Up Bosnian Story

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 9 May 2009

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"It's Those Bosnia Nightmares That I Just Can't Shake!"

Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton says she still has nightmares about the awesome event that she made up happening to her in Bosnia in 1995.

"It seems just like it was yesterday", says Clinton, her voice a little shaky. "I can still hear the ZING! ZING! as the bullets hit the runway and I was fully convinced that I was never going to see my little girl again. Neither was I going to see my husband, Bill, and that idea was when I finally realized, 'Hey, you got nothing to lose over HIM' and that kind of cheered me up a bit."

"That was when I spotted one of the snippers up on the roof of a small building. Carefully I aimed my most hateful expression at him and I'm sure he saw me for he immediately dropped his weapon and made a run for it."

"Then they say that I completely lost control and , grabbing the guy's weapon, they say I ran amok mowing down snipper after snipper and calling them by Bill's bimbo's names!"

Yet in my nightmares, it's me that gets it and it's a whole army of bimbos coming out of double wide trailers and beauty shops with their hair up in rollers, chewing gun and I wake up screaming as soon as the big-haired fat one gets me down in the parking lot."

"No matter I made it to Secretary of State or even almost made it to becoming President, that day of dodging bullets in Bosnia that I made up, will be the one thing I'll never forget."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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