Dead Reagan would beat '04 candidates, poll says

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

image for Dead Reagan would beat '04 candidates, poll says
Even dead, Reagan could be elected.

CORCUPONIA, Wisc. -- A new poll released shows that if the general election were held today, the South still couldn't have won the Civil War.

However, that same study shows that if Ronald Reagan were put on the ballot, even though he is dead, to run against George Bush and John Kerry that Reagan would win in a landslide.

"The people polled went for dead Reagan like a racoon to a bail of dirty hay," said pollster Edward Smiley.

With a margin of error of one to two, if not four to five and maybe ten to twenty points, the results didn't make either candidate think differently about the campaign.

"I plan to do exactly what I have been doing, only more of it," said Bush.

"I plan to keep pushing and getting my message across, no matter what message that is," said Kerry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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