Written by Frank Cotolo

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

image for Election is a dead heat, poll says
Too close to call.

CORCUPONIA, Wisc. -- A new poll released shows that if the general election were held today, small children would still not be able to cast votes.

However, that same study shows that George Bush and John Kerry are locked in a dead heat.

"The people polled are split down the middle like racoons in a bail of dirty hay," said pollster Edward Smiley.

With a margin of error of one to two, if not four to five and maybe ten to twenty points, the results didn't make either candidate think differently about the campaign.

"I plan to do exactly what I have been doing, only more of it," said Bush.

"I plan to keep pushing and getting my message across, no matter what message that is," said Kerry.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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