LONG ISLAND, New York - Madonna, the singer who is 50 going on 30 claims that her horse, Mr. Vibrator, threw her after being startled by a member of the paparazzi.
New York police are painting a different 'horse and wannabe cowgirl picture.'
Officer Alonzo Peccadillo who was the first policeman at the scene said that the old singer at first told him that someone had shot at her from behind a Redwood Tree.
When told that there are no Redwood Trees on Long Island, the singer got highly upset and said that it was a Giant Sequoia Tree.
When officer Peccadillo informed her that the nearest Giant Sequoia Tree was in California, about 2,500 miles away, La Madonna became belligerent and started cursing at the officer.
The officer quickly put her in handcuffs and told her to shut the heck up or he would have no recourse but to taser her.
Madonna started screaming that she was a famous singer, dancer, actress, producer, director, and the next president of Italy.
The officer laughed, pointed his finger at Madonna, and said, "Hey, to quote Shania Twain, 'that don't impress me much.'"
Madonna then reportedly made a face and spit in the direction of officer Peccadillo who instinctly took out his taser and hit the 50-year-old diva just below her botoxed lips.
After rolling around on the ground like a rainbow trout out of water she was loaded onto an ambulance and transported to Long Island's Our Lady of The Fjords Norwegian Hospital.
The official police report stated that one Madonna Louise Cicone Penn Ritchie Rich, aged 60 (sic) was on her mount and was horsing around as if she was Annie Oakely and the old gal just basically lost her bearings and fell on her 60-year-old keister.
In other news. MSNBC is getting ready to break the story that anti-illegal alien advocate Lou Dobbs of CNN was himself once an illegal-alien whose real name is Luis Dovalina.