New York - (Saddlebag Thighs & Pimply Ass Mess): Pop entertainer Madonna today blamed her seven year old gelding hack Twinkletoes for jerking her off her seat in a naked and bareback riding mishap on Eastern Long Island.
The equestrian fiasco occurred after some paparazzi 'who had been hiding in the Bushes' flashed their cameras at her naked ass direction and startled the toned and muscular whorse.
The singer was airlifted to hospital where dozens of prickly thorns in her fifty year-old saggy ass were surgically removed under local anaesthetic.
The thoroughbred steeplechaser meanwhile was hurriedly dispatched to a New York glue factory to be stuck together again after losing the plot and most of its dignity.
