Angelina Jolie To Replace Nicolette Sheridan On "Desperate Housewives"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

image for Angelina Jolie To Replace Nicolette Sheridan On "Desperate Housewives"
Angelina Jolie to appear on "Desperate Housewives" as Hester Honeyhill.

HOLLYWOOD - With the sudden departure of Nicolette Sheridan's character Edie Britt, Wisteria Lane will soon be having a new resident.

The show's producers have asked Angelina Jolie to join the "Desperate Housewives" cast and she has agreed.

Jolie will portray Hester Honeyhill, (real name Heather Montecito) a woman who moves to Fairview's Wisteria Lane from Paramus, New Jersey.

Honeyhill is an ex-pole dancer/mafia hitwomen who leaves the Right Coast and moves to the Left Coast under the witness protection program.

The only problem is that Jolie's character is afraid that the mob will find her and feed her to the Pacific Ocean fishes.

She convinces three of her ex-boyfriends from Jersey to pretend that they are her brothers who have moved in with her. They soon buy Tom and Lynette Scarvos' Pizzeria Restaurant.

It isn't long before the three 'brothers' pick up on their old habits of money laundering, loan sharking, racketeering, extortion, drug trafficking, and horse head deheading.

Ms. Honeyhill's three brothers will be played by Nicolas Cage (Giovanni Montecito), Antonio Banderas (Rocco Montecito), and Benicio Del Toro (Vito Montecito).

"Desperate Housewives" producer Marc Cherry hopes to sign Marlon Brando to star in the season's finale.

Cherry said that Brando will be portraying Jolie's character's father, Enrico "Mad Rico" Montecito.

"Mad Rico" flys in from New Jersey to Fairview to personally put a stop to the on-going shenanigans of Dave Williams (Neal McDonough) the widower of Edie Britt (Nicolette Sheridan).

Marc Cherry said that the final episode will be titled, "Davey Boy's Size 11-D Arrivederci Cement Shoes."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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