Written by Bluebella

Monday, 20 April 2009

image for Angelina announces retirement from motherhood
Ange can't wait to retire on the beach

In a shock confession in Heat Magazine, Angelina Jolie has announced that she's sick and tired of being a mother and intends to retire at the end of the year.

"It's just all getting a little too much for me" she confessed. "Six children, 50% of them biological offspring, and I'm only 33. I've been saving my pennies with the money I've been paid from my films - it's not a lot but I'm financially stable enough to take care of myself without the government childcare benefits. I haven't told Brad yet, but I'm sure he will support me in any decision I make."

"I have been a full time mother for a long time now- my children are seven, six, four, three and two times one. Plus there's Brad who's 44. If you add all those figures together you get 65. 65 years is quite a long time looking after a handful of screaming brats."

"My adopting orphans days are over" she said, "it was a hobby - hobby's don't last forever - everyone knows that. Brad's been sitting on his arse doing nothing the whole time I've known him so it's his turn now."

When asked what she intended to do after her retirement, Jolie replied that she was going to a take a very relaxing holiday in the south of France, buy a cottage in the country, put her feet up and relax.

With a wink and that famous toothy grin of hers, she added "and maybe look for love."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Angelina Jolie




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