A volcanic mountain island in southern Alaska has been blowing its top recently. Mount Redoubt in the Cook Inlet has been spewing hot fumes and smoke for weeks now, covering nearby areas and Anchorage with ash.
It has severely disrupted life in Alaska's largest city, shutting off air traffic to and from the main transit center of the 49th state.
Important supplies cannot reach America's largest state, no one can travel in and out, and all mail and package services are on hold.
Speaking on the difficulties, Governor Sarah Palin said in a press interview "It is terrible! It is ruining the economy of the state! The worst thing for a Republican administration is not to be able to make money!"
"The mountain is demanding that we sacrifice a female virgin every three days to satisfy it so that it will not blow up and take us all with it. I tried sending Bristol over there, but it just laughed."
That Mt. Redoubt is asking for virgins, an idea it must have gotten from its homies over in the Hawaiian Islands where natives used to send tender, young, sumptuous girls to their doom into volcanoes to appease them, is making it very difficult on Alaskans. Alaska being Alaska will have a hard time coming up with virgins to satisfy the great mountain. Its hard enough finding women there to begin with, much less virgins.
Calls have been put out to Japan, Korea and even China to donate virgins to help out, but there has been little response. Palin has asked fellow California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for aid in solving the virgin problem, but California women being California women the outlook is grim.