In a stunning government announcement, U.S. President Barack Obama just signed a bill making marijuana completely legal throughout the country. The new legislation, placing marijuana under similar federal oversight as alcohol and tobacco, marks a complete about-face for American authorities following decades fighting it.
Citing the need for urgent action to fix the U.S. federal budget, government controlled head-shops will be opened to sell marijuana at a very high tax rate. The expected enormous public demand should immediately begin to deliver "mind-blowing" tax-revenue dollars to the U.S. Treasury with no expected public backlash. "You wanted change, you got it!" beamed Mr. Obama. "We fully expect this single bill to lift the U.S. out of the doldrums to an unprecedented and sustainable high."
The U.S. Department of Agriculture also welcomed the news, citing the critical need to improve the lot of American farmers. Police expect crime rates to plummet as well.
