Bush contests "World's Stupidest Politician" ruling, wins

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Thursday, 21 May 2009

image for Bush contests "World's Stupidest Politician" ruling, wins
Vice President Joe Biden reluctantly concedes the award to the man who "out-smarted" him for it.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice President Joe Biden was surprised when he replied to a knock on his office door this morning and found himself eye to eye with former President George W. Bush.

"What the hell do you want?" Biden is reported to have asked.

"I came to claim my award," replied Bush.

"And what award is that?" queried Biden, folding his arms defiantly.

"Don't play dumb with me," stated the former President of the United States, George W. Bush. "I'm talkin' about the 'World's Stupidest Politician' award. Hand it over."

Witnesses say Biden perked up a little at this point. "That award is for active politicians, you bonehead," he said, smirking a little.

Bush smirked back, replying coolly, "I jogged two miles just this morning, so... If you don't mind..."

Rolling his eyes, Biden interjected, "No, no! It's an award for politicians who are currently in office!"

At this point, Bush was seen to step forward a little, looking around the room. "Well, let's see," he said. "Ceiling, check. Four walls, check. Desk, check. Filing cabinet..."

"NO, you imbecile!! It's an award for practicing politicians!" exclaimed Biden, reddening. At this time, a vein could clearly be seen starting to pulse on the Vice President's forehead, noted one observer.

Bush then pushed right up against Biden's chest, looking him dead in the eye. "I'll have you know I've got a copy of The Practice and Principles of American Government, volume I on my nightstand. So, if you don't mind, I will be taking that award now!"

"HERE!! TAKE IT, THEN!!!" Bellowed Biden. Bush closed his eyes, recoiling a little as Biden's spittle hit him in the eye. Biden thrust the award at the former President. "Just get out of here, now! GO!!"

Making an awkward lunge at Bush, a panting Biden began struggling to shove him in the direction of the door with a series of ridiculous flails, losing a shoe to chuckles from Bush. As he slammed the door on his tormentor, locking it, a clearly winded Biden leaned over, breathing heavily as he rested, hands just above his knees.

"Good grief!" he was heard to say. "That guy's a f*cking idiot!" Chuckling a little, he added, "But at least he doesn't write stories about me being stupid, then misspell the world 'politician' in the f*cking title! If, if you..."

Biden paused as realization dawned on his face. Running to the door in his one shoe, he threw it open and burst clip-clopping out into the hall, shouting, "HEY!! Wait a minute! If I let you talk me out of it, does that mean I win?"

"Nice try, assh*le!" hollered Bush faintly from nearly halfway down the stairwell. "Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh..."

Dan Quayle was unavailable for comment on this still developing story.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more