Purchasers of Ann Coulter's Books Illiterate

Funny story written by Daniel Williams

Sunday, 18 January 2009

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"I bought her book 'cuz she's purty

While the success of Ann Coulter's new book Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault On America may be astounding to most, just who is buying them is even more shocking.

An independent study conducted by the Curious United National Thinktank, or CUNT found that an overwhelming number of people buying Coulter books can not, in fact, read them.

CUNT sent statisticians out to several hundred bookstores with a questionnaire for people who bought books. The goal was to measure readers' knowledge of social issues, and correlate that to the books they had just purchased. A curious thing started to happen when people who purchased Ann Coulter's book were approached: most couldn't even read the survey. In fact 70% of people who purchased Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault On America did not even have the capability to read what might be found in a typical newspaper. Several were asked why they bought the book when they couldn't read it. Typical responses were "Rush told me to" and "They tried to ban her from NBC and that's not fair!"

Many respondents were connected with social workers who could get them into literacy programs. This step is expected by many to backfire on the author. Among people with a modicum of education 98% dismiss this kind of reading and prefer books with facts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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