'Ice Ice Baby' Emanates From Studio Apartment

Funny story written by Vondrook

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Madison, Wisconsin- The all too familiar beats of Vanilla Ice's early 90's hit, "Ice Ice Baby" was heard echoing through the Meadow Brook apartment complex last Tuesday night.

Although the song was heard all up and down the entire 4th floor of the complex, the music's epicenter had reportedly been coming from room 4C, a studio apartment rented by one Aaron Dietrich, age 28.

Tenants on the fourth floor were confused and outraged. Mary Swanson, 45, and neighbor across the hall to Dietrich said, "I don't know what had gotten into him. He is usually so quiet. He's never done something as heinous as playing Vanilla Ice before. It's a travesty, really."

Fellow tenants agree with Mary. "It doesn't really bother me if music is played a little bit loud," said Judith Carter, 55. "But Vanilla Ice? Really? I think he might be on drugs."

After speaking with several more tenants on the 4th floor, the general consensus is that something terrible, horrifying, or shameful had happened to Aaron for him to play such music. "Either his mom died," said Carl Rothstein, the 43 year old tenant of apartment 4D, "Or he just suddenly realized he's a homosexual. Those are the only two things I can imagine happening to a person that would cause such a display."

Dietrich was not able to be reached for comment, but during the interviews conducted in the hall, the song was played 9 times consecutively. Neighbors are paralyzed with shock and worry. "We are not the type of close-knit neighbors that we should be," said Swanson. "We are concerned for him, I guess. But how are we supposed to handle this? It's unprecedented. I mean, if he plays it 20 straight times, I guess we'll knock on the door, but the more he plays it, the more I fear him."

Rothstein has decided to be the neighbor of authority and reports that if Dietrich does play the song 20 straight times, he will slide a not under the door of apartment 4C, requesting that if he wants to play such music, the least he could do is play Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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