Pope Replaces Bureaucrat with Boozer in NY Archdiocese

Funny story written by Pointer

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

image for Pope Replaces Bureaucrat with Boozer in NY Archdiocese
Soon to be Cardinal Timothy Michael Dolan shitfaced and singing Molly McCree

Cardinal Edward Egan will be allowed to slink off into the shadows of retirement after pushing papers from one side of his desk to the other during a lifetime as priest, bishop nand Cardinal. Most big city archdiocesan leaders are begged by the Vatican to stay long after retirement due to the severe shortage of clergy but not Egan who even clerical cold fish find frigid and slimy.

Egan's successor, Timothy M Dolan hails from the diocese of Milwaukee and O'Brien's pub. the glad handing and flush faced boozehound makes more jokes about drinking than sermons about the virtue of temperance. Dolan wants to make you think he's your regular down to earth boyo from County Cork who you'd love to uncork a bottle or two with. But this man of the people has been such a vatican sychophant that he has the same hate list of gays, women's rights and family planners. Like his Roman consuls, this little corporal continues to advocate for trapping people in unhappy marriages and large families they can ill afford.

Egan the fiscal conservative who starved NY's catholic school teachers actually cut the Cardinal's mansion budget for whisky. Dolan tripled the tab before even taking office: To be honest, he told thespoof.limbo, when you're in the business of guilt and shame, it's enough to drive a narrowback to drink! Cheers!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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