Today's Superheroes

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 6 February 2009

image for Today's Superheroes
"That's a job for ...just a minute, gotta go to the john!"

They're either earnestly civic-minded or people with blood not reaching the brain area because of the stretched tights, but in several dozen cities across the United States, men (and a few women) dress in homemade superhero costumes and patrol marginal neighborhoods, aiming to deter crime.

Phoenix has the Green Scorpion and New York City has Terrifica. Orlando has Master Legend, Indianapolis has Mr. Silent and Atlanta has an unchained Mr T. (Who looks for 'Fools').

These are just a few of the 200 gunless, knifeless, brainless vigilantes listed on the World Superhero Registry, most presumably with day jobs but who fancy cleaning up the mean streets of America at night.

According to two recent reports (in The Times of London & The Rolling Stone), unanticipated gripes by the "Reals," as they call themselves, are boredom from lack of crime, raw titty tips from females and crushed bananas between the legs of males out to impress.

As of 2-5-09, three have also shit their superpants from slowness in trying to drop the skintights.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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