In a bold move, the Sham Wow guy has been appointed to President Obama's cabinet to, as the President put it, "Clean up the toxic economic problems and absorb the mortgage crisis into the towel of good money management."
Giving his first press conference, the Sham Wow guy pulled no punches as he stated that the spills ahead of us were "formidable and large, but with all of our efforts we could clean the carpet of the economy and give America a fresh start."
Speaking into his trademark headset, he asked all citizens to call in their support and even pledge two payments of $19.95, then stated to the cheers of the press corps that he thought the problem could even be solved with only one payment of $19.95, but everyone had to "call now, as we can't do this all day." He added that his plan was based on an originally German business model, as "we all know that the Germans make good stuff."
The Sham Wow guy then impressed the press by spilling grape juice on a copy of the New York Times and cleaning it up so quickly and thoroughly that the front page photo of a shirtless President Obama was clearly visible again.
Defending his appointment, Obama said he had always been impressed with the straightforward style and from-the-hip approach of the Sham Wow Guy, and thought it was a real tribute to his talents that he has risen to the top of his profession of infomercial spokesman, especially with the less than traditional name of "Sham Wow Guy."
