Written by freezer101

Monday, 26 January 2009

Detroit's disgraced ex-Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, serving a county jail sentence for perjuring himself at a Whistleblower lawsuit in what has been known as the text messaging scandal, is scheduled for release on February 3, 2009.

Sources really, really close to Kilpatrick told Detroit Freep columnist, Hurry N. Cheetum, the ex-mayor is banking on Detroiter's stupidity in re-electing him at the upcoming special election. Kilpatrick assured this writer that with Detroit's track record of electing certified criminals, and co-conspirators to the city's top posts over the past quarter century, his comeback is a "foot in the shoe." Asked whether the search of longtime friend Bobby Ferguson's place of business is a reason for concern, Kilpatrick replied, "Dude, I'm the one who ratted him out."

What remains to be seen, however, is whether Christine Beatty, Kilpatrick's former aide and confidant, also jailed for perjury in the text-messaging scandal, will join Kilpatrick's team, and resume the electronic love affair she had with the ex-mayor.

Given the FBIs interest in Mr. Ferguson, and Kilpatrick's funneling of city contracts to his buddies, Detroiter's are satisfied that nothing out of the ordinary has occurred, and will see to it that Kilpatrick is returned to his rightful place within city government. After all, When KK gave his resignation speech he accused Detroiters' of, "Setting me up for a comeback."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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