Joint Effort By Detroit's Big 3 Leads to Fecale Motor Company and Fecale Energy

Funny story written by Natowsky

Saturday, 19 April 2008

image for Joint Effort By Detroit's Big 3 Leads to Fecale Motor Company and Fecale Energy
Frankoskizeri: "All kids will grow up knowing the name Fecale!"

Realizing for years the diminishing reserves of crude oil, its ever-rising price, unstable politics of the Middle East, refusal of Washington to allow any new drilling in the U.S., and stiff competition from the Japanese, Koreans, and soon, the Chinese, Detroit's Big 3 concluded, let's knock 'em dead with a new driving experience, lower consumer costs, and saving the environment. And, we'll be heroes. Maybe a Nobel Prize or two.

From all that, a major project emerged in 1998, a secret as great as that for Stealth technology development!

Thus, was put into place the first true business collaborative effort for Chrysler, Ford, and General Motors. The objective was to launch a novel fuel and novel vehicle and avoid the mounting crisis in road transportation, whether it be by automoblie or truck.

A team was assembled to first consider a new fuel source. It had to be very low in cost, in great abundance, renewable, always available, and like no other. Dr. Danse D. Dansey from GM, sputtered, "Shit, you're asking for it all!" Before another word could be said, Dr. Emory J. Bored of Chrysler blurted out, "That's it! Shit!"

Dr. Bored went on to show how all the requirements for the new fuel and automobile are met by human fecal matter. Except for collection, sterilization, deodorization, and proper form preparation, human shit fits the bill. The 30-member panel was ecstatic.

Dr. Almadi bin Frankoskizeri of Ford said to give it a catchy name for vehicle and fuel. "We take both market! We dun't wun't fecal in name, so we soften it, like soft stool! I go for Fecale Motor Company and Fecale Energy. Each scientist and engineer approved the name. Could this be Detroit?

After a brain-storming session, the outline emerged: recovered human feces would be treated for dangerous organisms, removal of excess water, deodorized, and formed into compact fuel feed. Vehicles would have dump bins for "filling up" at Fecale Energy stations. Newly-developed catalytic converters would burn 'Fecale' using air alone. Carbon-containing emissions, essentially all carbon dioxide, other carbon oxides, and carbon itself, sulfur and nitrogen compounds, and water vapor (released, as harmless) would be trapped to stop the proliferation of greenhouse gases (and other nasties), which can cause global warming. Fecale stations would remove any products of combustion.

To date, a prototype vehicle and a broad-spectrum Fecale fuel have been developed. Production of fuel and automobiles is set for mid 2011.

Said Dr. Lung Bing Xiang of GMC-China, an opponent of cheap, diesel burning, 'Chinese junk' cars, stated, "About Chineee...wee eat diffelently than you guy, so our clap diffelent than your clap and Europeeing clap. We jus need to make model catarytic burner to burn hell out of Chinee poo-poo. Not big issue. Celamic sensor and special metal catarysts do job!"

At the next Detroit auto show, a model Fecale Big 3 "Zoomer" will be displayed in a special room, so that visitors can take a simulated ride.

Detroit even has a slogan: "Fecale...We Never Fail!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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