DETROIT, Michigan - The Detroit Lions at 0-15 have the dubious distinction of having the worst record in the history of the National Football League.
The Lions latest loss was to the New Orleans Saints by a score of 42 to 7. Lion's Quarterback Dan Orlovsky simply said, "We stink." And none of the 903 fans at Ford Field could argue with him on that one.
Even one of the oldest most die-hard Lion's fan, Lottie Provenzano, 89, said "Wow. It was awful. And it was painful. I think I would have preferred to have them take out my tonsils through my ass with a scratched up turkey baster than to have to sit through that massacre.
Gosh the Lions made Custer's Last Stand seem like an Easter egg hunt. The only thing missing were the arrows, the tomahawks, and the smell of sweaty Indian ponies."
Lottie added, "Damnit. I was so miserable. I did not even enjoy my two hot dogs, my giant-size bag of popcorn, my plate of nachos, my three boxes of Cracker Jack, or my five beers. It was so horrible...horrible with a capital W."
When Coach Rod Marinelli was asked to comment on his team's 15th straight loss, he smiled and said, "Well, let me see...it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, huh?"
During one of the Detroit Lions' drives the camera suddenly cut to the announcers booth and one of the play-by-play announcers was reading an advance copy of John Grisham's next legal thriller, 'The Associate.'
Towards the middle of the third quarter the camera caught three of the Lions cheerleaders painting their toe nails on the sidelines.
And Leona, the Lions mascot had actually removed her lion head and could be seen talking on her cell phone. It was a sad sight...a sad sight indeed.
In a related story, Lions owner William Clay Ford, Jr. told ESPN that they had negotiated to move the team to Lachinga, Mozambique. "But I don't know now," Ford remarked, "I have been calling Lachinga Mayor Mumafa Simbafa since last Tuesday, and he has not returned any of my 29 calls."
