Written by Wickham Chase

Friday, 21 November 2008

Secretary of State nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton is said to be advocating a change from English, as the first language, to Jive.

She announced: "You know this will save all sorts of money when we no longer have to send out, you know, unemployment and child support correspondence in multiple languages. You know, Jive is funnier anyway than English, Spanish and a whole host of other tongues, with perhaps the exception of a drunk Chinaman living in Birmingham speaking English. Did you not see "June Cleaver" in Airplane?"

Asked how Barack Obama felt about this she added, "Oh he's delighted you know, I mean, you know, he struggled all through the election to talk like a white guy you know, which, you know, he hated doing, and now that he is safely in the job he will you know, like all new employees immediately become lazy and not remember any promises made during the selection process. He will, you know, slack off a lot and probably slip into street talk and a hip hop style dialogue more often than not".

Excusing herself from reporters Clinton said, "Dank ya' fo' yo' time ah' gots'ta get back t'wo'k"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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