Black the NEW Black

Funny story written by winston_smith

Friday, 7 November 2008

image for Black the NEW Black
Yo yo, be cool, be black.

In a sweeping phenomena, reported here first, black is the 'new black'.

From booked tanning salons, skyrocketing subscriptions to Ebony and Jet media publications to 'booty enhancing shapewear'. Here to for strictly black products like Afro-sheen, Newport cigarettes, (Obama brand), forty ounce bottles of beer, grape and cherry cola, ham hocks, hip hop music, and a multitude of other products are flying off the marketers shelves.

Conversely the economy is stimulated in this on rush to be 'stylin'.

Wal-Mart's has hired black greeters to steer customers to their new black section. There, one can purchase wigs, make-up, clothes, so they too can now 'pass'.

"I can't keep them on the lot," laughed Vinnie Fligg, salesman at a local Cadillac dealership. "Ha, fifteen miles to the gallon?, payments? Who cares? Let the repo man get some business." And that off shoot business mushrooms.

The black wave of change, change, change, affects all areas of the economy.

There's a 'white flight' back to the inner city, with homes in the tony suburbs being sold at a loss to, ironically, blacks and minorities, as they try to distance themselves from this infusion.

"I just want to be, 'in', 'cool', said Preston Addams, who recently sold his 5 bedroom, 4 bath, 3 car garage, home, in an exclusive gated community, to move back to the 'hood'.

"We grabbed a nice little graffiti decorated townhouse, previously a crack house, for a million two, and that was cheap. We have to run it down a little,but we now have our own little piece of the ghetto, it'll be home."

The black wave of coolness has captured the imagination and pocketbook of America .

The entertainment industry is ramping up, with several low budget blaxpoliation films scheduled and more to follow. Hollywood is financially and literally, in the black.

Velvet portraits of Sammy Davis Jr. are now replacing Elvis over the mantel in redneck trailers all throughout the south.

There's even unconfirmed reports of Michael Jackson going 'back'. Yes, the king of pop was seen sporting a 'fro' hairstyle, not seen since 1976.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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