Winchester, Ky. Man Dies of Catfish

Written by Bureau

Monday, 20 October 2008

image for Winchester, Ky. Man Dies of Catfish
Ole Blubberbutt first contracted fried-food disease during childhood

Longtime Firm Boy Restaurant catfish eater Randy Bill "Blubberbutt" Keats died Sunday, succumbing to the fat-and cholesterol-laden fried catfish/hushpuppy/potatoes/batter-dipped salad dish after a brave 53-year battle.

"Sadly, Keats' family has a history of terminal Firm Boy Specials, with his father, sister, thirteen cousins and several uncles dying of it," family friend Larry Joe "Dinglehead" Ingraham said. "Ole Blubberbutt first contracted fried-food disease during childhood when he was fed fried biscuits and gravy at the Firm Boy as a two-year-old by his grandpappy, and it went from five days a week to seven after he graduated 8th grade and went to work at the sawmill."

Donations to the Keats family, which in recent years had exhausted its savings on double-orders with extra cole slaw and funerals, can be made in care of Ingraham.

"Ten burials in one family can be rough", stated Dinglehead. "Especially when they charge extra for the double plots for each member."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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