National Enquirer, New York NY: The National Enquirer has obtained a copy of Senator Obama's student records from his undergraduate days at Columbia University.
Senator Obama, then known as Mr. Barry O'Mara, attended a Michael Jackson concert in Central Park following his graduation ceremony. During a backstage autograph signing, Mr. Jackson imparted to Mr. O'Mara that "he was not happy being black." Mr. O'Mara, while taken aback, seemed to understand. In fact, Barry wondered what being black was like.
Michael said "he was seeing a Dr. Jessie A. Botox, where he was undergoing skin lightening treatments via a new pigment migration process. So far the process was not working well, as a second human subject was required." Barry said "he would accompany Michael on his next visit to Dr. Botox and participate if he could."
Dr Botox showed Barry the two Transmutation Machine chambers, where he would put a gallon of plain vanilla ice cream (two percent fat) in one chamber and Michael Jackson in the other. However, when the Transmutation Machine was activated Michael was still black! Barry agreed that he himself would replace the gallon of plain vanilla ice cream in the first chamber and the experiment was then rerun. Alas Michael was now the color of iced coffee, but Barry had turned completely black.
"Ok said Barry let's now reverse the process so I can attend Harvard Law School, become a trial lawyer and then go home to Chicago." Dr. Botox said, "please come back and see me in 20 years when I know how to do that." Thus, Barry O'Mara was rudely introduced to "Change" in his life! Barry then changed his name to Barack Obama and now you know the rest of the story!