The Biden-Palin Debate...(No One Won)

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 3 October 2008

image for The Biden-Palin Debate...(No One Won)
Joe Biden's Home (Photo courtesy of Todd Palin)

EAST ST. LOUIS, Missouri - Most pollsters believe that the Joe Biden vs. Sarah Palin vice-presidential debate pretty much ended up being a draw.

Giuseppe Riggafrutch, executive director of the Milwaukee-based Covey of Pheasants Political Opinion Poll Federation stated that a total of 3.9 million people participated in their vice-presidential debate opinion poll. Riggafrutch, who is a card-carrying Republican, remarked that Biden won the "Who is the most qualified for the job" category, as well as the "Who is the most knowledgable of the issues" category. Biden also ran away with the "Who looks the oldest" category.

Meanwhile on the other side of the coin, Riggafrutch said that Palin won the "Who mispronounced the word 'nuclear" category and also the "Who mistakingly referred to the commander of the US troops in Afghanistan as Gen. McClellan instead of Gen. McKiernan" category. Riggafrutch remarked that Palin did however overwhelmingly capture the "Who has the best-looking legs" category.

So basically speaking the Joe 'Now Let Me Repeat That Again' Biden and the Sarah 'You Betcha' Palin debate was pretty much an even contest. After the debate both candidates and their families attended an informal sit-down dinner catered by 'The Tons & Tons & Tons of Food Catering Service.' The menu consisted of Caribou Chow Mein, Reconstituted Lobster Sandwiches, and Reindeer Knees succently sauteed in Goldfish Gumbo.

In keeping with the 'bi-partisan theme' the beverage served with the dinner was Delaware Punch and afterwards everyone had Baked Alaska for desert. Music was provided by the popular country and western music band 'Pancho Panacea & The El Paso Lasso Tossing Tostada Touching Bandito Band' featuring Carmelita Margarita de la Sopaipilla, 29, on the glockenspiel.

In a related news story, President Bush was asked by NBC's Brian Williams for his opinion as to whom he felt won the vice-presidential debate. Bush smiled and answered:

"Well Byron first let me just make two points. Firstly, I want to remind everyone, Republicans, Democrats, and Presbyterians not to forget that I did capture Saddam Hussein. Secondly, and Brigham a lot of people don't know this, but I can speak three different languages...sad to say though, English ain't one of 'em. But to question your answer Brandon...I mean to answer your question Ryan, in my humble and vacumous mind, I truly feel that both candidates represented themselves downright mucho good...but I have to give my presidential nod to that Barack Alabama fella hands and feet down."

(Mileage may vary)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more