Alaska - (Was-iller than Ill-in-ois Mess): Butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-lying-GOP-ass Alaskan First Husband Todd Palin was named as Sen Frank Murkowski's natural son today.
A report in the Juneau edition of LA FagHagSlagMag says Palin's mother Blanche Kallstrom had 'a commercial relationship' with Washington DC bigshot Murkowski for many years and hid his paternity.
Kallstrom's husband Jim Palin originally hailed from Seattle, Washington before settling down in Alaska - just like Murkowski.
Todd grew up in blissful ignorance until his 18th birthday when someone tipped him the wink about who 'Uncle Frank' really was.
"And then that fateful night in the autumn of 1984 when Todd Palin was arrested for DUI!" Juneau editor of LA FagHagSlagMag Dave Skank commented today.
"Officially the arrest paperwork either got lost, disappeared up someone's ass, was accidentally eaten by the Wasilla police chief's dog or maybe - just maybe! - sequestered and destroyed on Murkowski's orders!"
Skank maintains Todd Palin "may have been involved in something far seedier than drunk driving" prior to arrest.
"Who knows where the bodies are buried? Luckily for him, with Uncle Frank in high pubic orifice things got neatly stitched up for a clean bill of health."
Sen Ted Stevens is a raving loony.