New Orleans residents have been forced to evacuate the city after the news that President Bush is to forego his appearance at the Republican Convention in order to 'help the city of New Orleans face the hurricane.'
Hordes of city-dwellers immediately ran out of their homes and headed for the hills on hearing the news. "Last time he helped by ignoring us entirely. Why is he so keen this time?" said one scared resident.
Bush has revealed his rescue plans including umbrellas for every citizen, balloons for the kids and warrantless wiretaps for every household in the region.
Bush described Hurricane Gustav as 'foreign sounding, like a terrorist.'
